Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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