She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize