the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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