so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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