She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
