just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
