Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize