bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
