bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
