you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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