Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
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