I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Randomize
