I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize