So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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