Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
