Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
