I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She's the barista slut.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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