hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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