if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
