yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
