Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
