Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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