He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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