just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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