Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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