Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
where are you?
Hypothermia
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
