Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
