I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
