I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
