Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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