How'd it feel making her break her religion?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
