Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
