wanna go halves on a baby?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Found the puke drawer
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
