He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
