Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
