Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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