JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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