so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
