I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Randomize
