When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
