I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Found your dick twin last night
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Success! We fucked roommates!
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