she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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