I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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