So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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