btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I wish you could order shots online.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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