my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
