Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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