Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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