I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
