Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
the day after is always just damage control
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
