ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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