I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
