I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
