Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
