Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
