did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
