Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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