honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
