I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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