Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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